Spicey: Trump's Fall Guy
The great social philosopher Cris Carter once said to a room of would-be NFL rookies, “Get you A Fall Guy..you know, one that understands that nothing can happen to you...he’s the one going to jail.” Carter was wrecked for weeks when the public found out about this, but dammit if he wasn’t right. ‘Cause the Leader of the Free World got himself A Fall Guy, and thanks to Saturday Night Live, we all know him as Spicey.
So the day is Friday January 20th, 2017, the Presidential Inauguration of the polarizing Republican candidate, Donald Trump: billionaire; celebrity; entrepreneur; serial tweeter; once-Democrat-turned-Right-Winged Mouthpiece; Obama Birther; Mexican Border Wall promiser; best-friend-turned-rival of the Clintons; sudden believer in Christ, and oath taker to Make America Great Again (did I forget anything?). For Sean Michael Spicer, this date also marked the day he was to officially become the newly appointed White House Press Secretary.
Spicer, like all other White House Press Secretaries before him, was probably prepared to assume the task of becoming the daily voice of the President in addressing the free press. I mean, after all, he’d spent pretty much the entirety of the Bush Administration in high-ranking communication roles for the then-President, his staff, and the Republican Party. How hard could this be? I mean, what’s the worst that could happen?
...Except…and you know where this is going...
On his very first day on the job Spicey was faced with the IMPOSSIBLE task of disproving the size of the Inauguration crowd. Let’s face it, we’ve all been there. We’ve all been eager to show our boss ‘how much this job means to me’ on the first day. But arguing against literally every news outlet armed with a camera (which I can confidently say is 100% of them), is a suicide mission. But nonetheless, he grabbed the bull by the horns and was promptly gored. Over. And over. And over again.
The Media had a field day with the new guy:
And it got worse...or better...depends on which side you’re on here.
Remember his attempt defend the US bombing Syria as a retaliation for Syria bombing Syria by saying Hitler never used chemical weapons?
Or that time he had to explain why the Trump golf trips are fiscally responsible?
It seems like every week poor Spicey has to put out a fire in the name of keeping our President’s name clean. Unfortunately the only thanks he’s gotten is his weekly spot on SNL.
Ps. Here's a link to the Sean Spicer Twitter search. In case you're having a bad day, just look to the Heavens and thank God you didn't have to be Trump's Fall Guy.