Curse of the Inspired
I believe the blessings bestowed upon me, whether by Higher Being or nature itself, have provided me the potential to create significant good. The deterring factor, however, is the wide gap between said potential and the results I hope to manifest. Frankly, the feeling is almost like a curse: being so inspired, yet well aware that I have much to learn. Because, in the void created by the absence of knowledge, Doubt seeps in...
It’s graduation season. I remember sitting in my high school auditorium this time 7 years ago, dreaming of the lessons I will learn during the college years that were to follow. Because I was going to question everything. Seek answers at each turn. Not allow myself to settle for society’s cookie cutter answers, the “just because” or the “that’s the way it is.”
Between then and now, what I’ve succeeded in doing is making note of a litany of issues I hope to tackle, aided by my lack of understanding of the nuances in each case. Sprinkle in the constant factors of time and of resources, and what I’ve become is a budding conversationalist. On one hand, learning. On the other, careening down a jagged path to seemingly nowhere, bouncing between inspired and dejected.
Now, sitting here reflecting on the years that have separated the kid daydreaming of his future from the person writing to you, I feel Inspired yet possess more Doubt than ever before. Because I’ve come face-to-face with the knowledge I have, while yearning to achieve the tremendous amount of it that I lack.
The flame I carry - my inspiration - to create a better tomorrow by using my gifts, has set me on a journey which has allowed for the opportunity to connect with and learn from others like myself, ChangeMakers: Those who aspire to inspire. Albeit, still in its infancy, the fruits of my journey have led me to learn quite a few lessons, particularly about myself. One such lesson: being inspired to create the change I wish to see in the world is no easy undertaking. As a matter of fact, that very Inspiration to create change has a dark side to it.
It’s taken me 24 years to come to terms with the realization that, in my mind, Inspiration and Doubt exist side-by-side. Holding hands. Taking turns occupying my vessel. I’m not sure whether or not I’ll ever find the well of knowledge I so desperately seek. But while I continue my search, allow me the chance to ask you about yourself. Why are you here? What do you hope to achieve? What does change mean to you? How did you arrive at this interpretation?
Allow me to learn.